CAR CRIME AND GAY PORN DO NOT MIX.

I overheard this conversation while in the queue at Tesco's a few days ago.
MAN 1= Oh god, did you hear about Spanish Frank and the videos?
MAN 2= No, why what happened?
MAN 1= A couple of months ago i dug out my old Beta-max videos but didn't have a beta machine to watch them on so i bought LOOT for a few days until i found one, the only thing was the bloke who was selling it lived in Peckham and i don't have a car, but luckily for me i got a mate at work to pick it up for me because he lives quite close to the bloke selling the machine, anyway, next day my mate turned up for work with my video machine, he said that when he rang the doorbell a big muscly man with a checked shirt and a big moustache answered the door, and as my mate was leaving with the machine the bloke called back to him and asked if he also wanted a bag full of old beta tapes that he could use for recording over, my mate thought that i might want the tapes so he took them.
MAN 2=That was handy.
MAN 1= You would think so, only when i got them home they were all hardcore gay porno movies!
MAN 2=(Laughing) What, all of them?
MAN 1= Yes, all of them, about fifty or sixty in all and they were all home made, i don't mean badly copied home taped ones, i mean REAL at home home made videos with handwritten Biro labels down the sides, it looked like the bloke did them all himself in his living room or something, you could even see the pattern on the carpet and his tacky nick-nacks on his shelf, (laughing) they looked like they were done quite a few years ago judging by his wallpaper.
MAN 2= (Laughing) So what did you do with them?
MAN 1= What could i do with them? i couldn't keep them for taping over because i didn't want one of the kids finding one and putting it on, it would of frightened the life out of them.
MAN 2 = (Still laughing) And its not something you want to leave out for the binmen either, so what did you do with them in the end?
MAN 1= Spanish Frank.
MAN 2= Eh?
MAN 1= Spanish Frank had them, he came round a couple of days after i had got them and you know what he is like when it comes to dodgy deals, he took the whole lot saying that he was going to try and find someone who would want them.
MAN 2= Where would he be able to sell them?
MAN 1= God knows, but you know what hes like, he would sell his mum if he could. Anyway he drove around with the videos in the boot of his car for a couple of weeks trying to offload them but couldn't find anyone who would buy them surprise surprise, and after a while he forgot they were there.
MAN 2= (Laughing) He didn't get stopped by the police and arrested for being an underground gay pornographer did he?
MAN 1= No, i don't know if you remember that car of his but it was a right old heap, he decided to get rid of it, and you know how mental he can be, he drove his car out to the countryside, got the train back to London and then phone up the police and reported it stolen.
MAN 2= He what? he's mad sometimes, why didn't he just take it to be scrapped like anyone else?
MAN 1= God knows, who knows the way hes mind works?
MAN 2= Hold on, what happened to the video tapes?
MAN 1= (Laughing) Frank phoned the police and reported the car missing and then realised that the tapes were still in the car.
MAN 2= So what did he do?
MAN 1= He got the first train back to wherever it was he had left the car, then drove it back home shitting himself that the old Bill might recognise the number plate and pull him over.
MAN 2= He must of been bricking it!
MAN 1= (Laughing) He was more worried the police might find the gay porn in the boot and do him for that than he was about getting caught driving his own stolen car, the nutter drove home then phoned the police and told them that he had found his car after all and that it had all been a mistake, (still laughing) hes just lucky they didn't nick him for wasting their time.
MAN 2= And he got away with it? Christ he was lucky. Still it would of been funny if...