So 2009 has begun, the Christmas holidays couldn't have finished quickly enough for me, what a palava. Christmas day started out ok, the family get together even went well, there were none of the usual horrors that happen when a group of people are forced into a room to spend the day together while all are on a mission to drink as much as Bacchus could provide, after a hearty meal and the ritual disappointment at being on the losing end of every cracker pulled i left my granny's about nine thirty feeling happy and full, it was when i got back to the friends house (plus cat and fish) i was looking after for the holiday that it all started to go down hill.
It all started to go wrong when i got back, entering the house i noticed that the temperature was the same inside as outside, it felt so cold that i didn't bother to watch the DVD i had received, so i just staggered to bed.
In the morning i was woken up by both the cat who was screaming for her breakfast at the top of her lungs and a pounding headache, i was also shaking like a leaf and was feeling colder than i could remember, "sod that im never drinking again blah blah etc etc" i grumbled to myself and the cat as i slopped out its stinking food, upon walking into the front room i noticed that the Christmas tree was laying on its side "you given up as well?" i said to myself, as i picked it up i noticed that the curtains were billowing, i opened them up, cursing the council for being to stingy to replace them (the putty is the only thing holding them together) when i noticed that there was a big hole in one of the panes and a brick was sitting on the floor, so that was why it was so cold when i came in last night i thought, someone had thrown a brick through the window on Christmas day! my head pounded a little more.
Phoning up the houses resident i was greeted with a happily shouted "merry Christmas!!!", "err, yeah and to you, errm someone has err, chucked a brick through your front window" i answered, after a silence that i suspected was asking me "what did you do?" my friend gave me the council number, i phoned them and they wouldn't even entertain me because i wasn't the resident despite all the information i gave them, so i had to phone my friend again, she phoned the council, talked to them and they told her that i have to phone them to make arrangements about having it patched, so i had to phone them again, when i did they told me they needed a crime number from the police, so i phoned the police to report it and was told that a crime number could take anything up to 72 hours, jings!! i couldn't wait that long, i would freeze to death! So i had to phone the police again and beg for a crime number, to be fair they did give me a temporary number and said that if i had any trouble with the council to phone them and they would contact the council themselves, so it was back to the council and a rather rude lady who talked me in a manner that suggested i had done something heinous to her mother, after a lot of questions i was told not to do anything to the hole, including covering it in case it interfered with the workers who would be coming to fix it.
By that time my hands had become like ice from holding the phone that was situated three feet away from the hole, i was so cold that to get my blood moving i decided to decorate the broken pane, and if i do say so myself i did a nice job, i put tinsel round the hole, hung tree baubles and put up a nice glittery bow.
Eventually the council came, told me they would not replace the broken glass with a new pane ("we aint glay-zers, youll ave ta fone tha caansul in tha noo ye-ea") and instead glued a badly cut piece of chipboard onto the window, ugly but at least it would deflect anymore thrown bricks.
An hour or two later the police came round to visit, "do you suspect vandalism?" i was asked, i held my tongue.
Funnily enough, once the window had been patched up my hangover went, i stopped shaking and my body was able to regulate its inner warmth, what a coincidence!
P.S. no, i don't have any idea who or why the brick was thrown.
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