'09's DEAD CELEBS and the papers.

By far the biggest event of the year in Celeb terms was the death of Michael Jackson (my mobile was full of new and inventive jokes (as well as quite a few proper, proper sick ones) about him almost as soon as it was announced on the news).

Quite a lot of the (predictably) unkind and bizarre stories about him in the media that were used were old ones the papers had been dieing to put out for some time, but were afraid of printing them because of Jackson's infamous high flying pit-bull lawyer's and their expensive, litigious behaviour. But you can't slander the dead, so it was now open season on him.

At the same time, soppy crocodile tear filled 'official' souvenir special issues appeared, coming free with all the news papers in the days after his death, in them a child molestation accusation story would appear on one page, and on the next page would be a story about how much he cared for the world, mentioning the good charitable deeds he 'privately' did, accompanied by a photo of Jacko in a caring pose. One paper in particular did this a lot (I'll leave you to imagine what one of Ru**** *****ck's papers it was, no hints)
Then there was the unsettling sight of his hardcore fans weeping, wailing and gnashing their teeth as if they were standing on Golgotha 2.000 years ago mourning the sudden death of Jesus on the cross, in front of them (vague seasonal reference, clever eh, "ho, ho, ho").
The fans O.T.T. public outpouring of grief over Jackson's death outside Neverland, Jackson's kiddie friendly theme park home, was just as weird as any of the 'whacko' stories circulating about him. Fans were screaming and crying maniacally as they laid or rolled around on the pavement, while either holding Jackson's pictures and LP covers, or dressed up as him, rolling about the floor, whining on about their 'loss' as if he were their closest parent or friend, if not more so. Anyone acting that way at an average funeral would be escorted outside.

Jackson's crazed fans made the attended send-off's of  Hamas 'martyars' look like the sedate, aged audiences of bowles club competitions.
Strange, the legion of attending camera crews must of only added to the fans grief judging by the spectacle, their grief became especially hurtful and open when the camera's were pointed at them for some reason.

Then, to end it all, there was the truly gobsmackingly awful, gaudy 'send-off', where thousands watched eulogies, songs and music being played above Jacko's coffin in a giant arena (with it's giant backdrop picture of a saint like Michael looking lovingly down on everyone), before his children were forced onstage to publicly say goodbye to him, as the evil looking spectre of Grandpa Joe stared scarily down at them (he is a really, really scary looking bloke -he even looks a bit like Josef Fritzl, but darker).

On the same day, the ex-No1 'top sort' babe and hairstyle of the seventies, actress Farah Fawcett died, strange name that, it translates as cheap nylon trousers and a tap, I don't get it.
Her death was overshadowed by Jackson's but die hard fans (forgive the pun) and her former status still managed to make sure she made the news, giving the media plenty of reasons to reprint lots of pictures of her half naked or in swimsuits and in sexy poses from the height of her fame. Every media cloud has a silver lining.
Less well publicised was the deaths of Mr 'Kung Fu', and recent 'Kill Bill' fame man, Mr David Carradine, once a wife beating piss head in the eyes of the media, now he is dead he was a respected actor. We also lost extra smoothy, smarmy, charmer and actor Richardo Montalban of 'Fantasy island' fame.

Nearer to home (birth wise anyway) was the outpouring of pity for "hell raising actor" Liam Neeson when actress wife Natasha Richardson was killed, hitting her head while skiing. Minutes after refusing a safety helmet (hardcore!). That also caused much wailing and gnashing of pain and pity towards Liam and family. The media scrum following him about, asking how he was feeling must have been a great comfort at such a time I'm sure.

Then there was the accolades heaped upon Patrick Swaze after he sadly lost his long public battle with cancer, despite the heart wrenching 'go for it' attitude that kept him moving after the Doctors said he should of died already.
After half a life time of having the piss taken out of him, it must of been a real comfort to know that it had taken his impending pain racked doom to soften the nations heart towards him. Now he was given some respect instead of comedy cusses, like I said, comforting.

That's not all the 'Celebs' that shuffled off this mortal coil in '09, but those were the biggest in terms of news stories, The way these people change in the media into gaining near saint hood once they die is in sharp contrast to how they are reported in the same media when they are alive, cynical is one way to describe their behaviour.