NED LUDD'S NEW DVD MACHINE.

(Is he moaning again?)
My DVD machine is dieing, after almost eight years of use it has began to show it's age.
I bought it cheaply when most DVD player's and new films were still quite expensive, and it has served me like a loyal war horse that is on it's last dutiful but sadly buckling legs, it has served me so well in fact, that I may end up having to dry the corner of my eye when I chuck it.

At the time I only had two films on the DVD format (both came free with newspapers), ones that I was happy to watch on the computer, so I didn't really care about 'owning a piece of  the future' (I was -as usual, in full on Luddite mode, and besides I had spent years collecting my VHS films, I was still wailing and gnashing the loss of Beta-max!).

I resented having to buy completely new technology and the same films over again, just because someone decided we need more, new time wasting technology, sucking up electricity, creating the need for more shelf space and adding extra wiring grief to the spaghetti mess behind the telly ("what's a 'scarf' lead for?"), as well as having to read one of those unintelligible instruction manuals just to work it.

Anyhow, one day I just happened to look at one of those catalogues that comes with the weekend papers, and in one I spotted an offer from Dixons, or Tandys, or whatever it was called. In the catalogue was a one week only special offer for a cheap DVD machine (costing the same price as a new DVD film at the time).

Not being one to say no to a good offer, sometimes,  I took my own bad self up to the shop and asked for one of these cheap machines on offer. The look I received from the spotty young shop boy was priceless, he looked at me as if I was a giant, attacking virus, hell bent on destroying his sainted mother in front of him.

"We don't have any of those" he scoffed, "but we do have these", he said showing me ones that I wouldn't (not couldn't, wouldn't) afford.
I said no to all of them, explaining that I only had two DVD's anyway, but he persisted in trying to get me to spend bundles on a machine I didn't even want that much.

PICTURE- LUDDITE'S PROTESTING ABOUT THE LACK OF AVAILABLE SHELF SPACE FOR THE NEW MACHINES.

After this run around I just came out with it and asked for their cheapest machine only. Oh, the look of disgust I got, "it will break down in three months and you will need a new one" he pompously assured me, but since I only owned the two cheapo discs I didn't really care much, if I did like the new technology I would get a 'proper' one when the cheap one died I reasoned.

When I told the spotty oik this, he ignored my reasoning and kept trying to sell me top range machines, but I wouldn't relent and eventually he gave up and presented me with the cheapest one in the shop, holding the box as if it contained a rotting dog carcass.

Anyway, the "three months" has now been over seven years and it is still running (just). I only wish I could remember that spotty yoot's face so that I could go back and give him a large dose of "na, na-nu na-na's", the arrogant little so and so.