PUSSY CARROT MUNCHER

NOT ACTUAL CAKE

I came home late last night, hungry and tired I made a quick cuppa and just dived into the fridge for the cake I was looking forward to, and then flopped onto the sofa. All I did was turn my back for less than a minute yet within that time the cat had managed to creep up on me and lick off all of the nice creamy topping from my Vegan Carrot cake!
I was speechless, cats are not supposed to eat food  like carrot cakes, especially not Vegan ones, what is going on here?
The world must be turning upside down (yet again) when we come to a pretty pass where cats are gobbling up human Vegan cakes, not only that, while our dullard media are squawking on about Burka's being a force for total evil, there are telephone boxes full of cards advertising the services of young working ladies who, for a price will throw buns and pies at your genitals while dressed in full, conservative, female Muslim garb.
 A letter shall be written to the Palace I can tell you, this madness must stop.
Speaking of the media,  one of todays daily redtop rags ran a front page headline story about how they had helped save us plucky Brits from the introduction into our lives of the barbaric, mediaeval "Muslim loo's" inside our shopping centres. These so-called "Muslim loo's" are in fact nothing other than the same kind of toilets that are seen all over France, Spain and other European countries.
 The story was nothing but base, dull witted racist lies and lazy stereotyping, although Im sure that many divvy people will be totally suckered in by the awful front page splash with its accompanying photo. Its not hard to imagine the rags readership being suckered in by the lie, they are usually the kind of people who go on holiday expecting everyone else to be fluent in English, becoming cross when other English people who at least try to speak the native tongue are treated a bit more respectfully (like I was in a restuarant, once enraging a "two cheese and tomato pizzas and two pints of lager" (not even a 'please') man on a near table, that was a joy, he couldn't understand why the waiters were treating a scruffy young man better than him with his gold chains, 'Sov' rings and nice polo shirt, the idiot just didnt get it).
Anyway, the cat ate my carrot cake. Liberties!